journal,
tonight after school we have an eighth grade lock in at a fitness elite club. that means that i will be running around like crazy, burning lots of calories, and not going to bed at least until like..1:45 am when i get home. at the lock in, at 9:00, they are serving subs as a "meal" type thing, which i wont eat, because i am a vegitarian, and dont eat meat, so that is my excuse.
at school, i can control myself and not eat, but as soon as i get home, i swear the smell of my house makes me do this, but i go right to the cupord, and eat stuff like...pretzles capn chrunch, crackers, cereal bars. etc. so my goal for today is to just eat a little bit of fruit after school.
if they serve food at the lock in, and its ok...like fruit, than i might eat it, but if its chips...no way am i going to! this should be a negitive (-) calorie food day.
new goal: drink at least 4 water bottles a day!
- Mood:
tired
mich3lli3@yahoo.com
^^i dont check this very often, buti will check it more now.
i am a vegitarian, and dont eat eggs, either. so anybody like to chat?? email me please.
keep giong ladies. time is weight.
michelle
i have been such a bitch to everything lately. not only my body but to my friends, my studing habbits, and my popularity. i have never really had this much of as struggle at anything so much.
as i ahve mentioned, i went on vacation, and gained nearly 10 pounds from my couins force feeding me ice cream 4 times a day and total italian food. now, i cant control how i eat. once i come home from school, i come and eat pretzles and cap'n chrucn and anything really chrunchy. which sucks and is full of carbs. ahh.
i need your opinion how do i stop eating food that i absoltly love...like pretzles and capn crnch and crackers and yummy stuff like that??
also, if somebody could send me some thinspo like...everday i would love you. maybe we could chat too.
michelle
well i did really bad on the weekend, but to make that up, i am on a 0 cal fast for today. (tuesday.)
i have a problem that is good...kinda. my ribs are showing a little bit in some spots like near the bottom of the rib cage and above my boobs, which i dont really have =[. my ribs poke me and it hurts super dooper badly. and my backbone is showing a little bit more, and somebody gave a damn 5 star, where you hit a person REALLLLY hard on their back, and i nearly colapsed, 1) because i didn't eat anything for like ever. 2) my backbones show, and they hit me right on the bone 3) no muscle left,my body ate it for breakfast, lunch and dinner!
next problem: my skin is super dry. not just becuase wisconsin weather is cold, but also becuae i dont get enough neutrents.
next problem: all my fat is like..sliding down my body. above my boobs and a little bit below, the fat is gone, but it seems it all moved down to my hips. uh oh. =\.
if you have a solution to any of my problems, let me know please! :)
iiloveyouu,
♥♥♥♥♥michelle♥♥♥♥♥♥
- Mood:
cold - Jams:Enrique Iglesias..hottie!
today was my mummy's birthday. i knew that i had to balance my metabolism, chaning the amount of calories i consume to trick it. for the last 2 days i have been on a fast that i didn't really mean to be on i guess i could say. i didn't eat much at all, if anything. chew and spit. (c/s) but today, i went out to lunch w/ my gparents to Panera breads, and had an apple, low-fat chicken noodle soup, and a 1/2 turkey sandwhich. i was only planning on having a soup, but my grandma said that i need more on my bones and to get more. so than i had to order a half of a turkey sandwhich with out mayo. Water was also my beverage, but my grandpa said to have cola or somthing like that. i got a diet coke. Happy Grandma??!! she was. my mom said to eat as much as i can, which means it the whole thing in mum terms.
than when i got home i c/s a cookie because the diet coke made me CRAVE sugar. i also c/s 5 wheeties (the frosted cereal which is soooooooooo damn good).
than at dinner i had to go to applebees. i already looked at the menu, and planned on getting the healthiest thing. turns out, they didn't have it. they also didn't have the 2nd healthiest thing. so than i got a weight watchers confetti chicken which came w/ rice, cooked vegies, some type of fatty dressing, and weird bean dip. i asked to put the dressing and bean dip (aka. chunky shit..lol) on the side. i ate only a little chicken, all the vegies and some chunky shit which turned out to be okay. oh, i also had a water.
when we got home, i was still hungry. not an anorexic hungry, or a natural hungry, but a craving for food. something to put in my mouth. i reallllly wanted to bake something iwth oatmeal. i had a good recipe cooked in my mind. lol...coooked. ok anyway...(cooking is my savior. i love to cook.) my mom saw that i had lost 6 pounds in a really short period, and fit in my realllllllllllly small size 0 jeans for Aero, which i told her were really tight on me. today, they fit perfect, but a little big on the thighs, which i lost alot of weight on. she told me to eat cake. lots of it. i had to eat 2 slices of cake, and 2 servings of ice cream. i had to admit, it was soooooooooooooo nice to finally swallow some food again. i haven't swallowed food besides today since 2-3 days ago!
i feel ok even though i felt really fat today. when we went shopping, i even looked for shorts which i hate to look for, because i always get disapointed when they happen to "shrink" in the summer even before i wear them. i tried on the cutest pair of shorts that i absolutly LOVED, but the smallest size was too big! that really made my day.
i hope you girls are feeling as good as i feel today. spread the joy. feel happy. express it. be free...
Michelle
p.s.- when you comment it makes me sooooo happy. please continue! ♥ sorry these are so long, but they are my heart on 'paper.'
- Mood:
ecstatic
Dear "Journal,"
Today is April 11, 2007. Early in the morning, almost 12:00.
Anyway, yesterday was my 0 cal fast day. I did really bad as i said in my last entry. Today is also going to be a 0 cal fast, and i hope i can complete it, because wisconsin weather is so fricken stupid, i am snowed inside my house. again. so there is no way i can run around the block, or go to the gym, and i am DEFINANTLY not giong on our treadmill that we got for free that has been aournd since my great-great-great-great-grandparetns. i get really clostrophobic on that.
So, tomorrow is my mom's birthday,which means that today i have to bake her a cake, and tomorrow we are going out to eat at AppleBee's. I already picked out the least fat/calorie thing on the menu. I am hoping that i can loose a couple more pounds by the end of the week.
I need a new scale really badly because my scale is like.. 2 pounds off, and it isn't digital which makes it really hard to read. Also, its in the master bathroom, which is in my paretns room...uggh. Well ihave to go now because my daddy and i are going to the grocery store to get some cake mix, the easy way, and bake my mummy a cake.
love
Michelle ♥♥
- Mood:
hopeful
Today was an okay day. I said today was a 0 cal fast day, but didtn' turn out to be one. I was planning on eating 0 cals than around lunch go to the YMCA and burn off 300-400, right. Ok, so I wanted my friend to come with me who also has a membership, but she wasn't home. My annoying mom said to invite my neighbor who used to be my best friend up until I was probably 11. (She is a grade younger). So I'm like..sure...whatever. So she came and I wasn't really that excited to have her go because i was like **out of it** and didn't feel like being social. So once we get there, we ran first than went to the mini-wieght room for elderly people (we go there so we dont get caught, we're under-aged) to work out a lil bit. We got bored after the old people were watching M*A*S*H on T.v, and drool driping down their cheeks. So we went to play soccer and volleyball. Probably burned around 50 calories. Then, we swam and burned probably about 200 calories!! Wa hoo! Total, including the runnig, i am estimating about 270 calories. I was starving when we got in the car. My mom packed all these really good foods, like grapes, strawberry marshmellows, Twix, M&M's, and a whole bunch more. My friend, who is in gymnastics and burns probably 800 caloreis in her 4 hour practices each day, goes for the good stuff; twix, power bar, m & m's, marshmellows, while i am stuck drinking water. ugg. i gave in and had a couple grapes. than we needed to go to the grocery store to pick up some food. WE got a free cookie. shit. than for dinnre i had some peas, and chicken. ugg. i felt soo bad for doing that. than i was still hungry for a snack later and had 2 egg whites w/ ketchup and pepper and 2 handfuls of light-fat free popcorn. i was soooo mad at myself. ugg.
anyway, now I feel ok because i feel sorta skinny and i can feel my ribs really good, like every little detail. :)
my friend called and asked if i wanted to go to the YMCA with her tomorrow. i am excited, so i am not going to eat anything until we go to the YMCA, so than i can kow about how many calories i can eat depending on how many i burned there.
also, it's my moms' birthday on Thursday, the 12th of april, so we're going out to eat at AppleBee's, which really sucks becuase i have to eat there no matter what. that also REALLLLLLLY sucks becasue i took my friend out for lunch at applebee's on monday for her 14th birthday. so i know what i am oging to get because i looked at the nurtion facts for applebees and found the Italian Chicken Portobello Sandwhich has the lowest calories and sounds good! (w/o the mushrooms!). I has like 360 calories and 6 g of fat. it also comes with fruit! nummm!
Um..i think i got everything...
OH no! imissed one thing. today i wanted to spend some daughter-mother time so my mom and i watched t.v for a little bit together. i was still hungry so i went and got some frozen pees of out the freezer and was eating them out of the bag! she yeleed at me cause it wasn't a proper thing to do, but i still did it. anyway, she said that the last 2 months i have been having really weird eating habbits. like sometimes i will eat really healthy (my regular days) and sometimes i wil eat really unhealthy (my binging days). I hope she doiesn't find out about my eating disorder! Ana is my life.
Love,
M♥chelle
- Mood:
crazy
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
iiloveyouu_xx3- iiloveyouu_xx3
Syndicate
